Drought Olympic Mayan Link Revealed.

The Environment Agency have published figures that suggest that there is a serious risk of drought in a wide band of the country stretching from the South Coast up as far north as Lincolnshire. Low rainfall, emptying reservoirs and a depleted aquifer all indicate that this year could be the worst drought since 1976. Already the talk is all about UK agriculture adapting to a Mediterranean climate and we prepare for the prospect of our once lush countryside being transformed as a few goats browse in amongst the Ambridge olive groves. Not only will the 2012 Olympics be remembered for the Transport for London meltdown and a total security lockdown of the capital but now, while millions of gallons of bottled water is sped along those VIP lanes, the rest of us will be queuing at standpipes to fill our buckets and saucepans as well.

Worst since 1976? For me at least, '76 and '77 tend to blur into one. There are historical (and pharmaceutical) reasons for this. 1976 was an Olympic year of course and one that the city of Montreal will not forget in a hurry. For the good folk of Montreal the Olympic legacy was a financial disaster, an unwanted stadium and a debt that took the next thirty years to pay off. As well as the driest summer on record, '76 also gave us punk and I was beside myself with excitement about it. '77 was a Jubilee Year of course as well as being the year that punk, and the Pistols in particular, got increasingly notorious (and recuperated). We also had above average rainfall! So there you have it. 2012 is essentially two years for the price of one. We are getting a draught, a jubilee and an Olympics. Not only that but this year is the end of the Mesoamerican Long Count (or Mayan) Calendar with all that that entails; end of universe, punk not dead etc.

All of this stuff about the Mayans was discovered by the renowned archaeologist Michael D Coe, uncle of our own Lord Coe of Olympia. Look it up - don't take my word for it.

I tell yer, and to quote Her Majesty, "there are forces at work about which we know little."